


comfort for the road

by vandal_aria



Series: Peaks & Shadows [4]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: Anxiety, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Missing in Action
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:55:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22621369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vandal_aria/pseuds/vandal_aria
Summary: The cat had been a great comfort to Anders in the Commander’s unprecedented absence.  Losing him was like grieving her disappearance all over again.
Relationships: Anders/Nathaniel Howe
Series: Peaks & Shadows [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/810999
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	comfort for the road

**Author's Note:**

> Some background writing for Peaks & Shadows that doesn't fit anywhere else.
> 
> Content warnings: forced separation (no death), emotional abuse, abuse in the military

Nathaniel wandered the market at Amaranthine on the pretense of needing supplies. He would rather spend another night or two at Delilah’s house, but he thought he should get back to the keep before Constable Agustus and his party returned. The bagful of coppers had not gotten any lighter since reluctantly saying goodbye and going out the door, but he couldn’t seem to focus on even such simple tasks as finding food for the road. He was tired, having stayed up late talking to Albert in front of the fire with Ser Pounce-a-Lot curled on his lap long after the rest of the family had gone to bed.

“You like you could use some pie, dear.”

The old woman’s wispy voice nearly missed Nathaniel’s ears. She tugged on his sleeve to catch his attention from where she was sitting, small and swaddled in shawls, on a stool next to her booth.

“I got spiced apple,” she continued a bit louder, gesturing to the array of hand pies and other wares neatly arranged in baskets. “Discounts for members of the Grey.”

“I’m sorry?” he said, vaguely apologetic for his inattention.

She gestured at the Warden insignia on his arm; it was small and went largely unnoticed when he wasn’t in full uniform, but the woman had a keen eye for her advanced age. “I was from near Denerim, before the Blight.”

“Oh.” Nathaniel took a moment to process. “I joined after, but my Commander and one of my comrades fought the Archdemon.”

The old woman nodded, her lips twisting in a thin line of suppressed grief. “My granddaughter was in the city guard.”

That this guard did not survive the battle went unsaid, sorrow hanging heavily in the air around the old woman. The Commander could have talked to her about her granddaughter. Even Oghren would have known something to say. Neither of them were standing there with him. Nathaniel changed the subject, unsure of how to offer his condolences and feeling uncomfortably out of place. “I should like some of these for the road.” He paused when it seemed like the old woman was trying to compose herself. “And to bring back to Vigil’s Keep for the others.”

“Yes, yes, good.” She seemed glad of the distraction, busying herself with collecting the small pies into a basket. Several pieces of fruit and two loaves of bread ended up inside as well, until Nathaniel stared uncertainly at the coins in his pouch, wondering how to admit he likely didn’t have enough to pay for all of it, even at a discount.

“I’m not sure…” he started, but she cut him off.

“Half of whatever you have is fine, dear. Think of it as a public service.”

“That’s very generous, thank you.”

Nathaniel was walking away when something at the edge of the old woman’s booth caught his eye. Amidst several soft dolls in the shape of animals lay a small wooden frame with a piece of worn fabric stretched across. Carefully stitched on the fabric was a lounging orange cat with bunches of lavender. He picked it up, noticing two small green beads for eyes and a tiny brass bell hanging from its collar; it was a lovingly detailed piece of art. Staring at the little moment of calm, the understanding that Anders had lost a beloved companion ate at his heart.

Irrationally, Nathaniel hated himself a little bit for being the one to take the cat away, though Anders had begged him to help find a safe place for Pounce to go after Agustus caught the two napping by the fire in the common area in the midst of a mess of medical inventory papers Anders had been trying to organize before the cat got involved. Agustus was a mercurial man, and loud when he was furious. All his affected Orlesian gentility went straight out the window, and he came down all the harder if Anders or Velanna were involved. It shouldn’t have happened and it worried Nathaniel. Good leaders didn’t threaten their officers for small missteps.

Silently, Nathaniel dug out the silver piece he had been saving for a rainy day and handed it to the old woman, tucking the picture into his pack. She didn’t comment, merely thanked him again for his service and settled back in her market chair, a vacant little smile gracing her lips while she looked out for other potential customers. Nathaniel walked to the city gate and looked out at the road back to the Vigil. He felt sick with anxiety leaving the comfort of his sister’s presence and the thought of facing Agustus’ unreachable expectations, but he was more worried for Anders. The cat had been a great comfort to Anders in the Commander’s unprecedented absence. Losing him was like grieving her disappearance all over again. Nathaniel didn’t want to believe she was dead, but they had received no word in months.

Upon returning to the keep, Nathaniel wrote a brief note and left the gift on Anders’ bed, along with some of the food. He would have preferred to offer it in person, but Anders was nowhere to be found. Some of hiding places were still a mystery to all of them, and he reluctantly supposed that was probably a good thing under the circumstances, with little respite from the Contable’s scrutiny.

Three days later, while they were out on a long patrol, Nathaniel caught a glimpse of one corner of the frame peeking out from Anders’ pack, carefully sandwiched between two books, as they were making camp for the night. Anders noticed him looking and kissed his cheek, but said nothing.


End file.
